Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
