White coat. Heels.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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