i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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