Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
