I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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