those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
