Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
