Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
