Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
