At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
