Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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