ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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