There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
