we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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