dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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