i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
