You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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