this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
