im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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