spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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