Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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