you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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