you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
