Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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