I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
