i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
