i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
