Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
