just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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