We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
