i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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