I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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