brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
