I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
