Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Too much gin, very little bucket
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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