well I can't set my house on fire every night
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
