Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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