READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
