Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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