What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
