I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You ruined the universe
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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