If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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