What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
