Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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