So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
