So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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