can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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