erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
