i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
