not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
